Date of meeting: February 2015
Drug Pusher Tinder and I started chatting back in the first week of my February Japan trip. From looking at his pictures, he was someone that I was on the fence about swiping right to (he didn’t look tall in his pictures). His description included the fact that he was a UCLA grad, which prompted me to swipe right, as I thought he might have an American accent because of this.
He started chatting to me with the icebreaker: Hey how’s Japan’s cold winter treating you so far?
We messaged each other back and forth a little bit before making plans to meet up on Saturday for a drink. However, Saturday came, and I ended up seeing Broke Tinder and didn’t want to leave him as I felt rude even though I knew I wasn’t going to hook up with him. Drug Pusher Tinder was very keen on meeting up, and around 11:30pm after Broke Tinder and I had said our awkward goodbyes after I rebuffed him, I messaged Drug Pusher Tinder saying sorry, I was going home then and asked if we could reschedule for the next week. He said sure, and also: no more bailing out haha, jk.
He seemed so keen on meeting up with me that I became a little less interested in meeting up.
The following week on Thursday, I messaged DPT to see if he still wanted to meet up for a drink on Friday. He messaged back saying of course, and because the interest was so strong I became nonchalant about meeting him. We made plans to meet up at 8:30 at Roppongi. DPT said he was running late: really sorry *sad face* il buy the first round were his exact words. This was not a good sign as I took it to mean he was only buying the first round. I’ve grown accustomed to Tinder guys picking up the bill for the entire night, so what DPT said turned me off a little. However, I was already on the way to meet him and had no other plans for that evening.
I got to Roppongi late at 9:20pm and met DPT by Roppongi crossing. He had a cute face and was dressed nicely but I was wearing Jeffrey Campbells, and he was not taller than me in them. He came towards me with a smile, and said “Hi, I’m -“. We talked about having something to eat, but Tsurutontan was full so we proceed to the bar.
We then walked down to Tokyo Midtown where DPT said there was a nice bar. He took me to a bar called A971. The bar looked modern and sophisticated, and was also full of rowdy Japanese salarymen and women. DPT and I looked like the youngest people in there. We talked about ourselves a little bit and perused the menu. After looking at it for awhile, DPT said he would he would have the Hibiki 12YO (Japanese whiskey) so I said I would have the same. We both ordered it on the rocks and DPT ordered truffle fries as well, which we shared.
The Hibiki 12YO was disgusting. Not to mention, it was also pretty steep, at 1800 yen (but that didn’t matter because DPT picked up the bill). We talked about various things, although I don’t remember what, anymore, except a generic exchange of background details. DPT was turning 26 this year, so he was a year older than me. He had one younger brother, and he had been born in LA and brought up in Tokyo but had gone to international school in Tokyo and then went back to the US for college, then moved back to Tokyo again, and had also spent 6 months living in Australia for his family business, which trains children in soccer. DPT did in fact have an American accent and I liked the sound of his voice. I remember thinking he was at least bangable even though he wasn’t much taller than me.
While we were at A971, I began to notice some of DPT’s weird habits. We had been eating fries with black truffles that had been freshly grated on the top- as a result, some specks of black truffle had fallen on the table. Ordinarily, most people would just leave them on the table, as I would have, but I noticed DPT trying to clean up the table with his tissue in an inconspicuous manner. I found this to be highly odd but ignored it.
This was not the only strange habit I noticed. At some point in the night, while we were at A971, we were chatting about Tinder, and DPT handed his phone to me over the table. As he did so, I noticed that his hand was shaking- because of this, I asked him if he was a smoker, to which he said yes, but he said his hands also shook when he got nervous (which I took to mean he was nervous right then, although he didn’t look like it).
After finishing our drinks, DPT said that there was a bar called Hub that he usually went to for drinks. I wanted a change of atmosphere so I suggested that we go there, and we walked down the road. Hub is a British bar chain which is common in Tokyo- I felt more comfortable when we got there as there were lots more foreigners frequenting the bar, whereas A971 had been 100% Japanese people.
DPT and I sat down at a table and looked at the menu before deciding to get shots- there was one shot that he said he and his friends usually drank because it was 50% alcohol, so I said I wanted to try that one. DPT went by himself to the bar to get the drinks- I was glad that he picked up the bill, contrary to my prior expectations.
When DPT came back, we drank our drinks and chatted a bit about how you didn’t get unlimited right swipes on Tinder anymore. I demonstrated that unlimited right swipes were definitely still available, for women at least, and DPT looked slightly uncomfortable at the amount of matches I was getting. During the time we were at Hub, I noticed a few other cute guys in the bar, and was checking them out while talking to DPT. He may have noticed this and also started looking around the bar, but my memory was starting to get a bit hazy by this point.
We had another round of drinks soon after, and DPT again went to the bar by himself to get us drinks. We had another of the 50% alcohol shot before chilling a little more at Hub.
By the time we left Hub it was around 11pm, and I was definitely drunk- I don’t remember if DPT or I suggested it, but we ended up outside Feria, and I blankly asked if we were going in, to which DPT replied ‘yeah, unless you don’t want to?’ I quickly agreed as I didn’t want to go home yet, and we went inside. I was really happy that DPT paid for my entry to Feria, as even Voyeur Tinder had not paid for my Feria entry last year.
After we got into Feria, the night became a blur. Those 50% alcohol shots had taken awhile to kick in, but they were definitely deadly. We had one more shot at Feria and hung out there for a bit- this is where DPT broached a big question to me. He asked me if I took ecstasy (although probably not phrased in that exact way). I was shocked that he asked this (we were in Japan- probably instant death sentence). I said I did, and how he knew. He said he thought I did, because Alesso, Hardwell and Calvin Harris showed up as our shared interests on Tinder. The US slang for taking ecstasy was ‘rolling’ and we said we could even do it right then and there if we wanted. Another awkward moment happened at Feria- just after DPT offered me drugs, I was texting my friends in disbelief, and caught him staring at the screen of my phone as well. Seriously awkward. I now totally believed that I was out with a strange, strange boy.
I must have gotten very drunk after this, because I don’t remember much of what happened, except that we left Feria soon after that, and I asked if I could stay over his place. I think we did kiss a little bit at Feria (I made the first move) although I don’t know why we stopped. We got a cab back to his place, and I remember hanging out the side of the cab window throwing up while DPT apologized profusely to the cab driver in Japanese.
DPT lived in Setagaya- out of all the Tinders I had met in Japan, this was the first one that lived in a house, and it was huge. I remember going up stairs for a few levels, and vaguely remember taking my shoes off and throwing them down the stairs. I don’t remember what came after that.
The next morning, I woke up alone (yet again) with all my makeup from the night before and clothes still on. DPT had come in around 7am asking if I was okay in a concerned manner but I had groaned and rolled over. I don’t know if this was genuine concern if he wanted me to get out of his house ASAP. I went back to sleep and slept for another four hours, until about 11am, and then woke up to go to the bathroom. I was thinking how unlucky it was that I had slept alone on the sofa again, before I realised that I had in fact been sleeping on a bed, and then realised that it was DPT’s bed and room. After taking a quick survey of the room, I then realised that there was a bong on his desk. If I had been apprehensive about accepting drugs from DPT the night before, I wasn’t any longer. My remaining doubts then completely disappeared when he came in 5 minutes later and started smoking from the bong.
DPT said he had to go out that day, so I took a shower and got ready. While I was getting ready, DPT asked me random questions, such as did I watch Japanese anime or programs, and put a Japanese program on television while I was getting ready. It was probably due to his age or maybe that he was nervous, but I wasn’t used to being asked random questions like this by my Tinder dates and this led me to think that he was even more socially awkward or nervous.
When we went downstairs, I saw my shoes propped up neatly by the door, which didn’t match with my last memory of throwing them down the stairs. I asked DPT if I had in fact taken my shoes off and thrown them down the stairs, to which he smiled, and said I had (but he had picked them up and put them by the door). I felt embarrassed by my drunken behaviour and also thought DPT was adorable for being so good-natured about the shoes- in Japan it’s taboo to enter a home with shoes on.
We walked to the station together making small talk and chatting. I had a terrible hangover and felt very awkward, it also didn’t help that DPT was either mumbling his answers, or I couldn’t hear him properly- either way it was very uncomfortable. I felt the need to apologise for my drunken actions last night while we were walking and said ‘Sorry about last night, I didn’t know if you wanted to hook up or not.’
DPT said ‘Oh, don’t worry about it’ in a way that made me think he hadn’t been interested. I felt even more awkward after that and confused as well, as I couldn’t clearly remember what had happened the night before. When we had just about arrived at the station, DPT asked me if I wanted to roll that night, I said I had plans but could meet up with him if he was going to come out. DPT said he would message me later on to let me know.
Later on, DPT messaged me saying he just ate shio ramen and that he was going to take it easy that night. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t see him again that night, but I thought it was cute that he said he would message me and that he actually did. He said: Il see you next weekend?
Me: Sure, msg me next week.
And then later: I have serious gaps in my memory from last night as well. Did we kiss?
DPT: Haha yaaa we did a bit
Very nonchalant answer to which I still couldn’t tell if he was interested or not. After that night, I felt as if I had a little crush on DPT due to some of his actions that I found cute, but I was on the fence about him because of the socially awkward things he did.
Later on that week, I saw someone else’s Tinder moment come up about running out of likes, which reminded me of DPT so I screen shotted it and sent it to him. After my initial message, he asked me what I was doing- it sounds really sad but I got excited about this as it felt like I hadn’t met anyone (over Tinder) who had had a genuine interest in what I was doing right at that very moment for a very long time (if ever).
I replied saying that I was sightseeing in Nagano that day, to which DPT said that he was going there to board that weekend. I was a little disappointed at this as he said last weekend that we would meet up, but then I asked him if he still wanted to roll the next weekend, to which he said he did, so we made plans to meet up the next Friday.
DPT messaged me the following Tuesday saying hey, and asking how my weekend was. We messaged each other back and forth a little before DPT asked me if there was anywhere specific I wanted to go on Friday, to which I said I didn’t mind. We also became Facebook friends that day so I had a good long stalk of his pictures.
On Friday morning, DPT messaged me saying he was hungover, and asking what time we were going to meet up at Shibuya that night. After exchanging a few messages we arranged a meetup time. That night, I had dinner with some Japanese girlfriends, K and Y, plus a male friend from work, J. After having dinner, K, Y, J and I went to smoke shisha in Shibuya. DPT messaged me at 10pm asking where I was, and I told him to come to the shisha place that we were at. I wasn’t paying attention when he actually came in, but I noticed when he walked over to a group of English speaking Asians across the room from us.
I heard his friends say “how did you know we were here?” I couldn’t hear a reply from him, but I heard one of his friends ask loudly “which one?” while sneaking a glance over at us. I felt very awkward. After a moment, DPT came over and sat next to me. He got along well with K and Y and chatted to them in Japanese and J and I in English. There was a weird moment during which we were all chatting and I was telling K, Y and J how drunk I had been the last time DPT and I met, that I was hanging out of the taxi window vomiting. DPT rehashed the story to Y and K in Japanese and after laughing about it, K asked where we had been going in the cab. DPT and I awkwardly remained silent for a moment, after which K and Y laughed and said “Hotel? Tanoshinde!”
After about an hour of smoking shisha, we decided to head for predrinks before going to the club. After shisha, K decided to go home and we said goodbye to her, then J, Y, DPT and I went for drinks at Hub in Shibuya (Hub seems to be a regular hangout for DPT). There was another weird moment while we were walking when K and Y asked what DPT did and he wouldn’t tell them, to which they said “Yabai!” meaning ‘watch out’. It was only after I turned to DPT in confusion saying “why wouldn’t you tell them?” when he finally told them. This incident again contributed to my overall feeling that DPT was not normal.
We had a few drinks there- I liked that DPT decided to be a gentleman and pay for all of us. We had a few drinks at Hub before proceeding to the club.
DPT had decided to take us to SoundMuseum Vision in Shibuya which was a club that played techno, and some mainstream EDM. The entrance was 3000 yen (pretty steep for a club in Japan) and generously paid for the majority of mine, Y and J’s entry. Once we got in we had another drink and DPT then decided to take a half straight away and recommended that I take a half first as well.
We didn’t have to wait long before it kicked in- as always, my hand holding tendencies when on pills got the better of me, and DPT was fine with it. We pretty much paired off at this point, J & Y as the sober ones and DPT and I far from sober. It was still early in the night when DPT asked me if I wanted to bounce around 2, to which I said I’d prefer to stay till around 5 or 6am which DPT agreed to.
At some time soon after our pills kicked in, he kissed me and I liked it. We spent most of the night chatting and being affectionate with one another. During this time I learned that DPT had been single for about 2-3 years (I can’t remember which) after getting out of a long term relationship with a girl he had dated while studying in the US. During this time DPT also asked if I had met many guys from Tinder in Japan, to which I lied about and said I hadn’t met that many- it was at this point that I realised I liked him, otherwise I wouldn’t have lied. I also told him I would be coming back later in the year, in July and we agreed to meet up again then.
Around 5 or 5:30am, Y & J looked absolutely wrecked and, after handing over our things that we stored in the locker, bolted from the club without so much as a goodbye. DPT and I walked very slowly out of the club, into the freezing Japanese winter cold. We were walking out of the entrance of the club and DPT was carrying my camera for me. Although it was around 5am, the sun still hadn’t risen yet, and I was clutching his hand as he asked me if I wanted to come back and hang at his place. I said yes so quickly I’m not sure if he had even finished the sentence.
It was still dark out, and we walked down the street a little to get a cab back to DPT’s place. When we got back to his place, I changed into his clothes (in the bathroom) and then we went to bed.
It was likely because of the illicit substances, but DPT also had erection problems (I don’t know what it is with guys in Japan and erection problems). The first time he got it up, we did it for a long time before it went down, but because of what we had taken, neither of us got to finish. He kept trying to continue though and we spent a long time kissing before I finally convinced him to take a nap before trying again- I was exhausted at this point and couldn’t believe he still wanted to keep going. We had a comfortable sleep together and then at some point in the afternoon we woke up and chatted a bit before doing it again. At some point DPT walked out of the room, and when he came back he saw me on my phone and asked if I was on Tinder- another weird thing to add to the list.
We spent the whole day in bed and didn’t get up until about 6pm. DPT had plans that he couldn’t get out of, and as we got ready he made small talk, asking me get-to-know-you questions such as do I go to karaoke. We left his house around 7ish and walked to the station holding hands. I never held hands with any of my Tinders (when sober) in public before. It just felt natural with DPT. We caught the train to Omote-sando together, chatting all the way, and before he got off, he gave me a little hug and kiss and said “see you in July”. It was the cutest goodbye I ever had with any one of my Tinders and made me like him all the more.