The Whisky Tinder

Date of meeting: February 2015

Contains R18+ rated material

It was my last week in Tokyo and I was Tindering up a storm just trying to enjoy the remainder of my time in Japan. I matched with Whisky Tinder on a Wednesday and before long, he had messaged me. Initially I swiped right because I had the suspicion that Whisky Tinder might be Eurasian (my ultimate weakness) but because of the clarity of his pictures and his somewhat tanned skin colour, his status as Eurasian was ambiguous. In photos, he looked like one of those people you couldn’t decide on if they were attractive or not. Usually when this happens, there’s a 50/50 chance of me swiping left. I happened to swipe right in this case.

His first message was: Hey, how’s your travels so far? I replied that they were going great and asked him if he was also traveling. Whisky Tinder said he was actually on an extended business trip, and asked if I was in Tokyo the next few days. After I said I was, he was quick to ask if I was free for a drink on Thursday or Friday night. I was still burning inside that I didn’t get to sleep with Patrick Bateman Tinder and at this point I didn’t have much time left at all to have a fling with a beautiful Eurasian man so I decided to clarify first and asked Whisky Tinder what nationality he was. He replied saying he was half Japanese, half Kiwi (New Zealander). My suspicions had been right, but I’m not a fan of the Kiwi accent, and decided not to reply.

Late the next afternoon, Whisky Tinder messaged me saying: haha don’t like Kiwis? During the night and day I had Tindered up a storm but failed in my search of beautiful Eurasian men so I figured I’d take a shot and message him back. I said I’d forgotten to reply and Whisky Tinder then asked if I had plans for the night. We arranged to meet in Roppongi later that night.

I got to Roppongi around 10pm but didn’t message Whisky Tinder until I got there, as I was still trying to make other plans. I hadn’t really been interested in meeting him at all. It was more of a last resort for me as I just wanted to have a drink with someone, anyone that night. He took about 10-15 minutes to get there from Akasaka-mitsuke.

We met at Tokyo Midtown in front of A971. As usual, I was wearing my Jeffrey Campbells and was pleasantly surprised to see that Whisky Tinder was still quite a bit taller than me in them. I was shocked at how attractive he was in the flesh, and also very pleasantly surprised to hear that he did not have a Kiwi accent. In fact, he had an American accent (another ultimate weakness). We introduced ourselves and Whisky Tinder asked me if I wanted to go to A971. Having gone there already 2 weeks ago with Drug Pusher Tinder, I said I would prefer to go somewhere else, so Whisky Tinder suggested R2 across the road.

R2 was right across the road from my favourite club Feria. The night that Whisky Tinder and I came in was a Thursday night, but the bar was busy. It was an older crowd, filled with suits in their 30’s and upwards, mostly foreigners. It was the kind of bar where even the staff wore suits. There were a few dressed up women at the bar that Whisky Tinder pointed out to me as hookers – I’m guessing he was experienced in these matters, although he just passed it off as something like common sense.

After our drinks came (Whisky Tinder had a vodka soda while I had an oolong hai) we made small talk about our backgrounds and what we were doing in Tokyo. Whisky Tinder had grown up and gone to international school in Tokyo and attended university in the US. He was a former investment banker who now worked in ‘change consulting’, involving informing CEO’s how to restructure their business, and so on, which is what brought him to Tokyo for a few months. Ordinarily, Whisky Tinder lived in Hong Kong, and a few other places in Asia before that.

While we were drinking at R2, someone that knew Whisky Tinder came over and said hello. Whisky Tinder’s acquaintance was also with a client. It was a moment of awkward introductions. After they left, Whisky Tinder mused on why his friend would bring his client to bar where there were hookers. Whilst we we were talking, I also asked Whisky Tinder if it was ordinary for him to be picking up young girls (he was 34 and nearly a decade older than me) to which Whisky Tinder said: If you divide your age by two, and add 7, that number is an acceptable age for you to hang out with. So for me, anyone 24 and over is fine. I’m 25, so Whisky Tinder was obviously validating that it wasn’t that bad for a 25 year old to be on a Tinder date with a 34 year old.

We chatted some more before finishing our drinks, and as we were just about to finish them, I was telling Whisky Tinder about how I had had to take the fact that I drink scotch off my Tinder profile, as people kept asking me what scotch I drank. This led to a discussion about Japanese whisky, and Whisky Tinder mentioned that a particular brand of Japanese whisky, Yamazaki, had a prize for the best whisky. Whisky Tinder then said that he had a bottle of Yamazaki at his place, and asked if I would like to continue drinking there. It was very smooth. As soon as I saw Whisky Tinder I knew instantly that I wanted to sleep with him, but I was a little scared of going home with him so quickly after meeting. With Voyeur Tinder, English Student Tinder and Drug Pusher Tinder, I had waited at least one night.

After some deliberation, I said yes and we left the bar after Whisky Tinder picked up the bill. When we got out of R2, Whisky Tinder seemed like he was in a rush to get a cab home quickly.

While we were in the cab, I was beginning to lament my deplorable situation at going home with a perfect stranger, and began to question my life decisions aloud while we were going back to his place.  I said that it probably wasn’t a good idea for me to go home with Whisky Tinder so quickly after I met him because he might be a serial killer. I then asked Whisky Tinder for his Facebook and had a little stalk while we were in the cab, just to make sure he wasn’t a complete psycho, because Facebook is good for that.

While we were going home, Whisky Tinder also spoke Japanese to the cab driver, and he sounded sexy when he did so. We had a funny situation in which Whisky Tinder told the cab driver to take a certain road, although the cab driver said he thought it would be crowded at that time. Whisky Tinder told him to take it anyway and said it probably wouldn’t be crowded. When we got there, it was crowded, and the elderly Japanese cab driver said to Whisky Tinder in a grumpy manner: “I told you it would be crowded”.
We had a little laugh, in disbelief that the cab driver spoke like that to him. It is highly unusual for any Japanese person in the service industries to speak impolitely to customers- I have a friend who worked in retail in Japan, and she told me that using keigo to customers was mandatory.

Whisky Tinder was staying in serviced apartments in Akasaka-mitsuke, which is a rather nice area in Minato-ku. When we got out of the cab, Whisky Tinder paid and we went up to his apartment. When we got inside, Whisky Tinder went into the kitchen and started preparing drinks for us and I awkwardly followed him in and stood there watching him to make sure he didn’t put anything in my drink. He also made me a Japanese tea in addition.While he was preparing the drinks, he said: Actually, I couldn’t murder you because I don’t have any knives in my place. Very reassuring.

After sitting on the couch for a bit and chatting, he made his move. Despite saying he was shy, he was not shy at all. Not one bit.

Whisky Tinder had a great body and he knew what to do with it. He seemed very experienced and was likely the best in bed that I’ve ever come across. I’ve never had the experience of feeling like a porn star/prostitute before, but Whisky Tinder made me feel like one (in the best way possible). During foreplay, Whisky Tinder tried hard to take off all my clothes, while I tried hard to keep them on, saying I was self conscious about my body, to which Whisky Tinder replied that I had a great body. Another thing Tinder is great for is building up your self esteem.

While we we in the act of doing it, Whisky Tinder wasn’t afraid to ask for what he wanted. We did it in several different positions, during which Whisky Tinder kept calling me baby, and asking if I liked it deep. However, Whisky Tinder had some trouble maintaining an erection and it took some effort to get it back up. After he’d been on top for awhile, he then asked if I wanted to go on top, to which I said yes. Whisky Tinder asked if I could only come on top, to which I said yes, and he replied with: Sorry I should have asked earlier if you wanted to go on top. I want you to have as much fun as I’m having.

During the time that I was on top, Whisky Tinder kept slapping my butt and said: Baby, I like the way you move. Needless to say, I again felt like a porn star. After we’d been doing it for awhile, Whisky Tinder lost his erection again. We went through about 3 condoms that night due to him losing erections and after the third one he was all out of condoms. After not being able to continue, WT had a devastated look on his face.

Since we weren’t going to risk unsafe sex, I decided to call it a night and went back to the living room and started putting my clothes on. Whisky Tinder immediately did the same. It was clear I wasn’t going to be sleeping over. The whole night I had definitely gotten the vibe that this was just a hookup. After we put on our clothes, Whisky Tinder said: Lucky I don’t have any knives in my place, otherwise you might kill me.

He also said things like: I’m sorry, I should take you to a nice dinner to make up for this, and so on, and so on. (And he did not in fact follow through with this). Just as I was about finished putting on my clothes, WT said he’d walk me down and find me a cab. There was a tense silence as we walked down, and I said if he was free on Saturday night, to message me. He flagged a cab almost immediately and handed the cab driver a 1000 yen note and told him to go to Akabanebashi (where I was staying) but I corrected him and said I was going back to Roppongi (WT probably thought I was going to meet someone else due to the night’s disappointment) and we awkwardly kissed goodbye.

I felt embarrassed going to Roppongi in the cab. It was late on a Thursday night, and the cab driver had seen me kissing one man goodbye and knew that I was going to Roppongi at this godforsaken hour, and had gotten my cabfare paid for by a man. For sure, I looked like a prostitute. Despite that, he was very nice and began a conversation with me in English, while I responded in broken Japanese.

I did not hear from him again. However, it’s likely that I will never be able to drink a Yamazaki without thinking about Whisky Tinder ever again.

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