Date of meeting: April 2015
Just to be clear, no one actually got raped on this Tinder date.
We had been getting some bad weather in Sydney this week, and Rapist Tinder made an allusion to this with his opening line when we were chatting through the app: It may be dark and stormy but looking at your pics brought the sunshine into my day. We chatted throughout the week, before Rapist Tinder asked me if I wanted to go to the art gallery this weekend, to which I said I had to study and could probably meet up in a few weeks.
However, it was a Friday night and I had finished work with the intention of going home to study, but whilst on the way home, I was grasped by a strong urge to drink. After messaging a few friends and seeing that no one was available, I decided to message a current Tinder match and see if he was interested in grabbing a drink.
Rapist Tinder said he wouldn’t be in Strathfield until an hour after I got there, so I went to a pub first and waited, while drinking a whiskey (Irish, FYI). On that note, Whisky Tinder was actually in town that night and I had been hoping to see him, but unfortunately he was getting on a plane when I messaged him (I had been hoping for some material for a post titled ‘the return of whiskey tinder) but to no avail. I really felt like my life had hit an all time low drinking by myself at a pub on a Friday night, but my spirits picked up a little when Rapist Tinder walked through the door.
Rapist Tinder and I had been messaging each other for a few days and he had asked me to go to the art gallery this weekend, although I had said I was busy. He was 24, a year younger than me (I decided to change it up and meet some younger boys) and had won me over with his gentlemanly manner and use of proper grammar. When we met, he wore beige chinos, a maroon button up shirt and navy jacket when we met, which I admired.
Rapist Tinder said I was the first person he’d met from Tinder and was extremely interested in how many people I’d met, and my past relationships. As soon as he came, I’d just about finished my drink and we then went to the bar to get another drink. After that we chatted a little bit, and Rapist Tinder was full of compliments such as: Did anyone ever tell you, you look better in person? Not saying you’re not photogenic, but your photos don’t capture the other 2%- the nuances and the way you smile. You have impeccable dress sense.
And so on, and so on.
Rapist Tinder worked in marketing, and had recently come out of a long term relationship also. We had one drink at a pub in Strathfield, and during this time, Rapist Tinder had managed to stroke my hands and a bit of my thigh. His excuse was: They looked soft.
We took a short walk around Strathfield after that, before deciding to go to the city and have a drink there. Whilst we were on the train, we had a particularly funny train ride, in which Rapist Tinder discussed his past as a sex offender (he really isn’t) to try and get a reaction out of the man sitting in front of us- but failed spectacularly. During the train ride we held hands and acted like a couple- it was all very spontaneous and much like a scene out of Before Sunset.
After getting off the train, Rapist Tinder suggested getting a drink at Shark Hotel. We went there and after getting one drink, I began to feel uncomfortable at putting myself in a strange situation with a man I barely knew. I think when you find yourself in a dark bar with strange man who is trying to put his hands all over you, just for the sake of a drink, you need to evaluate your life choices. While we were at Shark Hotel, Rapist Tinder then moved in for a kiss, which I pulled away from, and asked him if he was always so forward, and Rapist Tinder said: I just think you’re gorgeous and I’m really attracted to you. We made out a little bit at Shark Hotel, before Rapist Tinder made the suggestion of getting a hotel. His reasoning for this was that he wanted to “get drunk while feeling comfortable, and that he also wanted to kiss me places other than my lips”. I’m sure he meant to say it in a seductive way, but I felt mildly unsettled and affronted at this suggestion. I told Rapist Tinder I wasn’t interested in one night stands in Sydney, to which he said no expectations. I said: I still haven’t ruled out that you’re a murderer/rapist/sex offender. Rapist Tinder replied: Well actually, I have a law degree. So I couldn’t be a sex offender/rapist, because then I couldn’t practice law.
At this point my nose started bleeding, so I ran to the bathroom to fix it up, and this gave me a chance to really think over my life choices. After I came back outside, I told Rapist Tinder I should probably go home and then we walked back to Town Hall station. At this point we started holding hands again even though I was getting the impression that Rapist Tinder was not the gentleman I had originally envisioned him to be.While waiting to cross the road, Rapist Tinder said I was the perfect height and kissed me on the forehead. Some things, like this, were cute but some other things were incredibly creepy.
As we waited for our trains, Rapist Tinder kept trying to kiss me and put his hands on my waist, to which I kept moving away from in a pirouette. Rapist Tinder said he enjoyed seeing my little pirouettes, and didn’t quit with the hands, which made me feel all the more awkward. After this little display, he then said: I want to rape you right in this spot. Just like his sex offender talk, it was probably meant to be funny, but I felt extremely awkward and it was the happiest moment of my life when my train arrived 2 minutes after. Not soon enough to prevent Rapist Tinder from pulling me in for another kiss though.
Shortly after that, I got a text from Rapist Tinder: May surprise you but that wasn’t the most awkward goodbye i’ve had. Thank you for tonight, you were mesmerising. Please shoot me a text so I know you’re home.
Nights like this make me question whether I should delete Tinder.
And then I think NAH and laugh and laugh.