Date of meeting: July 2015
What I wore: Plunging pea green jumpsuit, black H&M wedges, black and gold velvet clutch
What he wore: Fitted black v-neck t-shirt, white jeans, some sort of men’s shoes that were kind of like loafers, carried a laptop messenger bag
(VC: venture capitalist)
Back in April I decided to get a subscription to Tinder Passport so that I could do advance preparation for my Tinder dates in July. One of my matches was VC Tinder, a 37 year old Japanese man with only one picture.
When we started chatting, I had a feeling that he was looking for a hookup as he didn’t put much effort into asking questions about me. Moreover our chat was more like, “what’s your background”, “when are you coming to Japan”, “I can’t wait to see you in Japan”, “when you get to Japan let’s go for a drink in Roppongi” etc.
During our text chats, I asked him for his Line ID and Facebook several times but never got a reply to these messages. VC Tinder also took a long time (around 24 hours, sometimes 2 days) to reply to my texts, so I thought he was either really busy, or hiding a wife.
I arrived in Japan in July, and we began chatting again. VC Tinder was finally able to add me on Line, so we planned a date for my first Friday in Tokyo. Due to shopping running late, I got home and got ready late and ended up being 30 minutes late for my date with VC Tinder. I met VC Tinder at Tully’s Coffee in Roppongi Hills. He told me he would be sitting at the entrance with a laptop, so I knew it was him straight away. When I came up to him, he said hello and shook my hand.
I was excited because VC Tinder had said that he would book a nice restaurant, but as I got there so late, we ended up having dinner inside a tonkatsu restaurant in Roppongi. The restaurant was decent, although not as nice as the one he had showed me in the texts. The first thing VC Tinder did when we sat down was say “I guess I should explain my job” and handed me his business card.
I have never been given a business card on a first date. I was dying of laughter inside, but I also really liked the novelty and professionalism of it. VC Tinder worked for a well known American company in the investment ventures sector. His position read as ‘Japan Head’. I figured he must have been pretty confident about his position since he felt comfortable enough to give me his business card so soon after meeting.
VC Tinder had an American accent since he grew up in the US and lived there until he was 15. I thought he was average looking, but decently dressed, and since he was very well-spoken, I loved listening to him speak. VC Tinder spent a good deal of time talking about his job, how he invested in entrepreneurs and attended seminars in Silicone Valley for work. While at dinner, VC Tinder and I had a great discussion about various things. I was a bit paranoid that VC Tinder was married because of his age, and I asked him why he was so old and not married yet. VC Tinder said he wasn’t really sure, but that he did have a girlfriend last month, but they had broken up. He kind of said that it was due to being busy at work that he wasn’t married. He then asked if I had a boyfriend back in Sydney (I found this strange, because why would I be on Tinder if I did) and then started asking what kind of guys I was interested in. VC Tinder also remarked that I was the first girl he had met from Tinder (heard that a bunch of times) and that he was lucky, because I was pretty and looked exactly like my pictures.
After dinner, VC Tinder picked up the bill and we then went to a Mexican bar nearby. VC Tinder made his first trip to the bathroom that night. At the Mexican bar, there were a bunch of gaijin at the table next to us, each paired up with a Japanese/Asian girl. VC Tinder noticed this, and asked if I dated Asians, to which I said I only really liked Asians, or Eurasians. At the Mexican bar, VC Tinder and I got into a discussion about ‘gokons’ which are small Japanese dating parties, in which an equal number of men and women meet for dinner and drinks with the purpose of finding a significant other. This triggered something in my memory and I told VC Tinder about how I had intended to meet a girl from Tinder, and she had invited me to a party but said that my male friend who I came to Japan with couldn’t come to the party. Since we texted each other in Japanese only and my Japanese isn’t that good yet, I figured there were lots of things lost in translation.
I showed her texts to VC Tinder, who then laughed and said that the party I was going to was most likely a gokon, hence why my male friend couldn’t come. At the Mexican bar, I was still pretty paranoid about VC Tinder’s marital status, so I asked him if he was married again, and said it looked dodgy because he wouldn’t add me on Facebook. VC Tinder at this point then said that his Facebook was on private because he was a VC (venture capitalist) and he would get tons of Facebook friend requests, but would connect with me right then if I wanted.
When I saw his profile, this confirmed what he said. He had more followers than me, and most of what he posted on Facebook was about work, in Japanese. I felt a little bit more at ease after we became Facebook friends, but was still a bit worried. After all, his Japanese wife might not have Facebook.
After having one drink at the Mexican bar in Roppongi, we decided to head to Geronimo’s. Voyeur Tinder was the first one who had introduced me to Geronimo’s. Although he wasn’t in Tokyo anymore, I felt nostalgic and VC Tinder had also suggested Geronimo’s so I went along with it.
After we got into Geronimo’s, we ordered one shot, and one standard drink each. After we started on our standard drinks after finishing our shots, VC Tinder made a second trip to the bathroom. While he was in the bathroom, an overweight American businessman standing nearby asking me what I was drinking, and told me order two more. Luckily VC Tinder came back at this point, and the American businessman asked if I was with him, to which VC Tinder said yes.
The American businessman then said “Sorry, I didn’t know she was with you. I just wanted to buy her a drink. You’re a lucky man, she’s gorgeous.” VC Tinder then replied “Yes, she is”. I’ve said it before, but Tinder is great for building up one’s self esteem. VC Tinder then turned to me and said he normally didn’t get violent, and then asked what the man had said to me. I told him it was like he had said, he had just offered to buy me a drink. VC Tinder then suggested moving away to another part of the bar where we sat in seclusion. He then said to me “Just so you know, you’re my type. What are the chances of us dating?”
My reply was that I didn’t really know him that well yet and it was too soon to tell. Shortly after this, VC Tinder also spotted a friend of his who worked at a Swiss investment bank, and asked if I wanted an introduction (for a job offer). I said no because I was drinking, and VC Tinder then said he could introduce me later on.
What was going on at this point in Geronimo’s also directly influenced how the rest of the night turned out. For those who don’t know, Geronimo’s is a special bar, in that it has a drum. If you bang the drum, you have to buy shots for everyone in the bar. For some reason, someone kept banging the drum during the time we were there- so in addition to the two drinks VP Tinder got me, I had an additional 4 shots.
Of course, this resulted in me being rather drunk by the time we left Geronimo’s. While walking to the next bar, VC Tinder asked if he could hold my hand and I agreed, so we held hands while walking for a little bit, but I felt quite awkward about it.
The next bar we went to was A971 in Tokyo Midtown (where I went with Drug Pusher Tinder). The bar at this time was a marked departure from when I had gone with DPT, and was packed to the brim with gaijin as well as Japanese businessmen. As soon as we got to the bar, VC Tinder made his third trip to the bathroom that night. I was beginning to find this a little odd and suspicious.
After VC Tinder came back from the bathroom, I left to go to the bathroom, but on the way back cut through the bar and was pulled back a little violently by one of the bartenders (not normal service staff behaviour in Japan). When I came back to VC Tinder, I remarked that the bartender was rather rude, and he agreed and asked if I was okay, while rubbing my back.
Shortly after, the offending bartender spotted us standing at the bar and came up to VC Tinder and spoke to him angrily and in a somewhat rude manner (very uncommon in Japan) about why I shouldn’t have cut through the bar and that people can steal money that way. After they were done talking, VC Tinder was so annoyed that we left and went across the road to R2 Supper Club, which is right across from my favourite club Feria.
At R2, VC Tinder said that he was going to the bathroom AGAIN, and also joked that I would probably get hit again because he was leaving me alone (I’m sure he meant hit on). He then said ‘well, it’s your fault anyway for being attractive’, and then left for the bathroom. He wasn’t gone long and got another round of drinks after this. We weren’t at R2 long when one of my Japanese girlfriends joined us, and one of VC Tinder’s friends also came along to even out the male/female ratio. The four of us proceeded to Feria and I was surprised when VC Tinder didn’t pay for my entry.
After going in, VC Tinder put his bag in the locker and we went upstairs. At this point the night got very fuzzy due to my having 10 drinks previously, and another one at Feria. I remember going to the bar with my girlfriend and downing one drink, then dancing for a little bit before going to the bathroom and finding myself completely alone. I was so drunk that I didn’t even think about checking my phone to look for my friend and VC Tinder and instead stumbled around the club by myself for a bit before deciding to call it a night and head home by myself. While trying to get myself home safely I encountered a few mishaps such as: walking the wrong way out of the club and getting lost down a street, got followed down the street by a Japanese man and was asked to drink together, then fell down bruising my hand, got in a cab to go home and began vomiting out of the window, then tried to clean it when I got out but the cab driver refused to let me clean it. I was lucky I made it home intact and passed out in bed.
The next morning, I received a ‘good morning’ text from VC Tinder at 9am as if nothing had ever happened. I replied with ‘thanks for ditching me last night’. He replied saying: ‘sorry, I should have sent a text to say I was going home. We went up and down looking for you but couldn’t find you. In my head I was thinking, I highly doubt that.