Date of meeting: July 2015
What I wore: Blue and white checkered pinafore dress, white canvas sneakers
What he wore: a suit
I matched with Diplomat Tinder during my July trip to Japan. His profile tagline said that he had lived as an expat for a number of years and was just reintegrating back into life in Japan. I thought that this would be a safe date, someone who just wanted free English lessons.
He sounded nice in his texts and I felt comfortable enough to arrange a date with him the following Monday.
The following Monday, I met Diplomat Tinder at Marunouchi building in Tokyo. His looks were average, but he was tall and dressed in a nice suit with a nice watch to boot. I am a sucker for guys in suits. We proceeded to have dinner at a restaurant inside the Marunouchi building on the restaurant level.
Diplomat Tinder was not your average Japanese salaryman. As soon as I met him, he gave off an air that he was someone who was used to power, who was successful, and who earned real money. He spoke English fluently due to having lived as a diplomat in Brazil and France for a number of years. I felt quite comfortable with him straight away and during dinner we talked about his previous work as a diplomat, and about my possibly moving to Japan in 2016.
Diplomat Tinder’s current job was at the same company that Whiskey Tinder worked at.
It’s a small Tinder world.
Because of Diplomat Tinder’s advanced age (38), I was highly suspicious that he was married. I’ve also heard that extra-marital affairs are extremely common in Japan, and so I asked a few indirect questions, such as “do you live in Tokyo with your family?”
Diplomat Tinder’s reply was hesitant. “Yes, I live with my parents. And my girlfriend.” After hearing this, I pretended that it was perfectly normal to go on Tinder dates while having a girlfriend. But my curiosity got the better of me. After a few more mouthfuls of delicious food, I couldn’t help asking DT “So, why are you on Tinder if you have a girlfriend?”
DT’s reply was priceless. “Well, I’ve been dating her a long time, so I’m not going to break up with her. But she doesn’t really want to touch me anymore, and I don’t want to touch her either. So of course I want to go on dates with young girls.” Again, I acted like this was a normal response, and pretended I wasn’t casually eating a meal with a dodgy AF older man.
I could tell that DT was interested in being more than friends because he began asking me if I had a boyfriend back home, and what kind of guys I was interested in. After DT’s admitting that he had a girlfriend though, I felt more and more uncomfortable. We drank sake during dinner, which proceeded to me getting rather drunk. After dinner, DT settled up the bill and asked me if I wanted him to take me home (I assume he meant accompany, not “go home”). I said I would catch the metro, and DT walked me down to the station. While we were walking, DT felt comfortable enough to walk with his arm around my shoulders.
I was scanning my Pasmo card at the barriers, when it denied me entry due to needing a top up of money. DT took my card and topped it up with 2000 yen for me, without me asking. Perks of going on dates with older men.
We waved goodbye at Tokyo station and I knew I wouldn’t see him again.Overall, I’d had a pleasant time with DT, but couldn’t justify going on a date with a man who was spoken for again.