The Crazy Tinder

Date of meeting: July 2015

What I wore: Transparent white lace top and red skirt

What he wore: T-shirt, shorts and thongs

I matched with Crazy Tinder during my week in Switzerland. We chatted only briefly before deciding to meet up the following day, I guess this is where I messed up. But Crazy Tinder didn’t sound crazy through text.

I said I probably wasn’t interested in hooking up, so if he still wanted to meet up as friends I was fine with that. Crazy Tinder said sure, it’s not like you can tell from a couple of pictures whether you’ll have chemistry with someone anyway. The rest of our conversation was about Swiss food and dessert. I said I really wanted a traditional Swiss dessert, to which he said he knew one, but I shouldn’t eat it because it would make me fat. Charming.

The next day, we made plans to meet up in the city center of Geneva, but I got lost, as usual, so he walked to pick me up at the tram stop where I was.

As you know, I love a man in a suit. The 40 degree heat wave in Switzerland prevented most men from wearing suits though, and this was how Crazy Tinder showed up in shorts, thongs and a t-shirt. Not only that, he walked straight up to me and expected a hug straight away.

I said that I didn’t feel comfortable hugging and I was sweating from the heat as well, but Crazy Tinder made me hug him anyway. We were not off to a good start. We began walking through the city aimlessly talking, Crazy Tinder asked what ‘my story was’ so I began to launch into a succinct description of myself and my life.

After about 4 minutes had passed, I noticed that we were aimlessly walking and asked Crazy Tinder where we were going. He said “we’re going to my place.” The alarm bells started ringing.

I said to him “I’m not going to your place, I just met you.”

He said “I walked all the way to pick you up, and I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes. Once we get to my place, I can get changed and then we can talk about what we’re going to do.” (Crazy Tinder made it sound like he walked 10 kms to pick me up, really it had been a few minutes’ walk).

At this point, we were already at the bottom of the building. There was a cafe next to us and Crazy Tinder had waved to a waiter in the restaurant in a weird/douchebag kind of way. We had also passed two men and they had looked at me and exchanged eye contact with Crazy Tinder in a weird/creepy sort of way. I didn’t feel safe.

Crazy Tinder then said “You’re being really immature. I’m not going to rape you, stop being such a baby.” This was the last straw. When someone you meet from the internet feels compelled to say “I’m not going to rape you”, this is not a good sign. I was extremely lucky that we had met up in daytime and there were lots of people around. I didn’t have a good feeling at all, so I took this opportunity to walk very fast back to the city center.

Luckily, Crazy Tinder didn’t follow me. Within one minute of my walking away though, he had texted me saying WTF. You’re such a weirdo.

I guess not wanting to come up to a stranger’s apartment immediately after meeting makes me a weirdo.

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