The Return of the Fake Lawyer

Date of follow up meeting: October 2015 (read about initial meeting in September here)

After hooking up with the Fake Lawyer twice in September, I didn’t hear from him for awhile. During mid-October he began liking my Facebook posts which is a definite sign that he’s going to hit me up soon. Sure enough, I got a text from him in the next couple of days, but he didn’t ask to meet up.

The next day, I had an awards ceremony for a competition I entered, but didn’t win. I was so distraught afterwards that I decided to make myself feel better with some consolation sex and texted Fake Lawyer that night after the ceremony, asking if he was flying home that night. He said he wasn’t, and that I was welcome to crash at his place if I wanted. I quickly took him up on the offer and my friend and I, who already had a few drinks in us, walked to meet Fake Lawyer at a bar in Surry Hills.

After meeting Fake Lawyer and his friends, I noticed that his two friends had been throwing me discreetly sleazy looks over the table and wondered what Fake Lawyer had said to them. The five of us stayed there for about an hour chatting, until one of his friends said in a strange way ‘Well, we are going to go home. Because that is what people do at the end of the night.’ Fake Lawyer, my friend and I walked off in one direction. While we were walking, I glanced over at Fake Lawyer’s friends who were staring at us, and then held up a hand in goodbye.

When my friend departed, Fake Lawyer took my hand and offered to carry my bag because it looked heavy. We went back to his hotel, which was near Central this week, and as I took off my makeup and applied my normal before bed beauty routine, I could hear Fake Lawyer sighing impatiently from the bedroom. I was a bit drunk that night, having felt the necessity to drown my sorrows in alcohol from the disappointment of not winning the competition.

As usual, Fake Lawyer went down enthusiastically. While we were engaging in foreplay, I asked him if he had mentioned anything to his friends. He said that all he had said was that I was ‘his friend who he liked having sex with’ but I’m sure he went into much more detail than that. Not that I cared, but I wanted to know what he had said. FL said ‘I’m sure your friend knew the deal too’ (she did, but I was still curious).

He didn’t last that long that night and was also out of condoms so he asked me if he could come and that we could do it again later or the next morning. I agreed and we went to sleep shortly after. Overall, this was probably the worst sex I’ve had with him, maybe it was because I was in a bad mood from not winning the competition, I’m not sure.

The next morning he rolled over and asked if I was interested in a quickie, but I said no. As usual, he left to go to work after giving me a hug, and shortly after I rolled over, got ready and left.

FL messaged me to meet up the week after and the week after that too, but I was busy with studies and the week after that I had the dreaded women’s curse. The week after that, I was practically on my deathbed  with a bad case of the flu but decided to see Fake Lawyer anyway.

When we met up on the last Tuesday of October, it was the first time that Fake Lawyer wasn’t in a suit. He was all bundled up in a jacket, jeans and a scarf. We had dinner at his favourite sushi train Makoto, when I began coughing violently. Fake Lawyer asked if I was ill, and I said that I was. Fake Lawyer’s response was “Why wouldn’t you tell me? I have a medical exam on the weekend, I can’t get sick.” In my defense, I needed sex, very, very badly.

We went back to his hotel, and as we were going up in the elevator, an older man in a suit chimed in on our conversation. After he got out, Fake Lawyer asked why I didn’t try sleeping with an older man such as him. Fake Lawyer is continually encouraging me to sleep around. On one occasion Fake Lawyer told me that I should ‘get on birth control and have fun in the US’. While we had been walking to the hotel that night, we discussed our past Tinder experiences since our last meetup, and I said I had met several more people (all my type, Eurasians) but hadn’t hooked up with them. Fake Lawyer was quick to denigrate them, calling them ‘losers’ for not making a move.

That night we went through our usual routine, he, sucking my toes as we had sex, me, watching him in fascination and enjoyment. We did a bit of roleplay that night too, which was quite fun, me, playing a girl who had no money for a train ticket, he, playing a man who was happy to buy me a ticket but only if I gave him something in return. After we did it twice, I went to bed content, thinking that we weren’t going to have sex anymore, but no. He woke me up in the middle of the night for sex again, which was quite satisfying, not going to lie. He was on top when all of a sudden he got up and went to the bathroom and said in an annoyed manner “I’m an old man, I need sleep.” In my head I was thinking ‘you’re the one that woke me up for sex’ and rolled over and went back to bed. I was a bit groggy from being woken up, but I think what had happened was that he had started going soft.

The next day he said bye but walked out without giving me a hug for the first time. When I got out of bed later, I was miraculously cured of the flu. Cured by the D. Who knew?

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