Tinder is like my gateway drug for online dating. After the incident with Venture Investor, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I had liked his hands around my throat. I’ve always liked dominant alpha males, and after the past year of sexual experimentation, I’ve realized that I enjoy being submissive and pleasing others so I decided to push my boundaries a little more by trying BDSM.
Within a few days, I put up an ad on Craigslist looking for a Dominant.
This is undoubtedly the most dangerous thing I have ever done, and I do not recommend it. With that, I made sure to take every precaution though.
I made a brief, two paragraph ad stating my age, ethnicity, and that I had recently experienced choking, which made me curious about the BDSM scene (choking/auto-erotic asphyxiation is part of it) and I wanted someone to teach me about BDSM and introduce me to more things. I also specified not to email me unless they were Caucasian or Eurasian between the ages of 25-38.
I got about 30 emails, very quickly. With sites like Craigslist, there are a ton of desperate perverts, trolls and psychos (probably). I had a lot of people who sounded like they hadn’t even read my ad and were just talking about they wanted (sex) and didn’t even mention being dominant or introducing me to the BDSM lifestyle. The majority of the emails I received went into trash. I remember responding to about 4-5 people, and from there. After asking for pictures, I ruled out one who looked like an old pedophile, another one who refused to send me pictures and wanted to meet in a secluded place (PSYCHO ALERT). From there, I narrowed it down to three that I had plans to meet.
I planned to meet all three within a short space of time on the same day, so that I had an excuse to leave if needed. However, one of the three began to sext me which I didn’t like, so I promptly blocked him and decided to only meet two.
The first one I met called himself ‘Proxie X’ in the email, and sent a picture of himself in the first email. He said that he had 6 years of experience in the BDSM lifestyle and was dominant, but could also teach me how to be a switch (change from dom to sub). We made plans to meet around lunchtime in the CBD after texting back and forth on KIK.
He was young, tall and looked exactly look like his picture. He wore black jeans and a white long sleeved top, that showed off his muscular arms. I felt comfortable around him straight away. We walked to a coffee shop near Town Hall and began chatting about the BDSM lifestyle, and how he had begun it. He ordered a strawberry milkshake while I had a chai latte. Proxie recommended some websites to go to for research and support. He said that he had been guided by a couple 6 years ago that he met online, but had always been into sexual kinks, always been rough, and had always had a high sex drive. We had coffee for an hour and conversation flowed smoothly. We made plans to meet up again in two days, closer to his house that time. He said that we could go somewhere near his house to talk again first, and then continue to his place if I still felt comfortable and wanted to proceed. When we said goodbye, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Overall, it hadn’t felt very much different from a normal date, except that we had been clear and upfront about what we wanted physically, and also discussed my physical limitations.
The other Craigslist meeting I had was with a man who called himself ‘Sebastian Valmont’ in the email. We had probably emailed and texted about the same amount as Proxie X. Sebastian Valmont described himself as being into ‘light BDSM’. I took a giant gamble with Sebastian Valmont as he did not send me a picture of his face beforehand. He said that he was 27, blonde with blue eyes. I took him for his word, and figured that since we were meeting in a public place, if he wasn’t who he said he was, I could leave at any time. In emails, Sebastian Valmont said that he had been looking for a sub for for awhile, and that what I had suggested was ideal- I had specified on Craigslist that I wanted a casual but ongoing arrangement. When we met up, I was very pleasantly surprised by how attractive Sebastian Valmont was. He said he was 27, but looked older, perhaps in his early 30’s, although this could be due to Caucasian genes. Despite being attractive, he had a face that was utterly forgettable. Even now, I’m struggling to remember it.
There was a stark contrast between how I felt when I met Proxie X and Sebastian Valmont. I had felt comfortable with Proxie X, but with Sebastian Valmont I felt shy and uncomfortable. He had been sitting in the outdoor section of a cafe in the CBD. It was broad daylight when we met, and there were older people sitting around us. I felt extremely uncomfortable sitting there, while he stared at me. Sebastian Valmont had a penetrating, intense gaze that made me feel like he was staring right through to my very soul. He had a voice that was soft, and yet deep and commanding. I could feel his dominance right from the moment I sat down. He wore a blue and white striped button up shirt and drank sparkling water. He asked me if I had done this before; I said no. He asked me if I wanted anything, and ordered me a still water. I noticed that his hands shook, when he picked up his glass. He said that I was the first person he’d met from Craigslist.
We discussed his previous Dom/sub relationships with his friend, who had led him into the lifestyle. In contrast to my meeting with Proxie, my meeting with Sebastian Valmont was stilted, with long pauses. He asked me if I liked taking orders. The one thing that Sebastian Valmont was adamant about, was that this sort of thing wasn’t his whole lifestyle. He said that it was something he did on and off, and that it was a part of his life that remained completely secret from everyone he knew. We made plans to meet the next day.