Date of meeting: January, 2016
Location: Yangon, Myanmar
After the expat party at French Institute, I didn’t know if I was ever going to see Eurasian Housemate again. He dropped me at my place in the taxi and we said goodbye without any affection. Despite that, I had warm feelings about him after he dropped me off, and texted him shortly after saying thanks for inviting me out the previous night. He suggesting hanging out again in the next two weeks, and I agreed.
The following week, I was having lunch with my mother and her friends, and had posted a picture on Instagram with the location, when he messaged me and told me to order him something and that he and his house mate were leaving right then. They showed up and I sat chatting with them for awhile. Eurasian Housemate was wearing traditional Burmese dress and said hello to my mother and her friends in Burmese, which I liked. I sat there chatting with him and his friends for awhile, before my mother said it was time to go.
The day after that, Eurasian Housemate came to my place to interview my stepfather about the work he was doing over December and January in Myanmar. He ignored me the whole time which made me want him crazily and despite that I wasn’t even attracted to him before. There I was, sitting next to my stepfather on the sofa, with a boy I slept with last week across from us interviewing him. All the while I was thinking of banging his brains out. After the interview finished, he did not rescue me from the clutches of my parents like I had hoped, but instead rode off on his pushbike and left me at home. He did however, invite me to drinks with him and his friends later that night. Due to my parents being insufferable ogres, I wasn’t allowed out that evening, and told him I would see him at the barbecue on Sunday.
All Friday night and Saturday morning I was in a mood because I wanted to go out. Saturday afternoon, EH invited me to a pool party, and my mother agreed to let me out (only because I kicked up a stink, and only because Eurasian Housemate offered to come pick me up). He got to my house late in the afternoon, and we literally rode for an hour. While we were on the way home, we stopped off to get some Ritalin and then rode home. When we got back to his place I sort of wanted to hook up before the party but instead he told me to hang out on the verandah, so I introduced myself to some other people staying at his place and chatted to them for awhile.
An hour later, we went to the party and much of the night was spent chatting to other people there. We drank and snorted Ritalin at the party, and swam in the pool. After leaving the party, and going to someone’s apartment, we bought alcohol and when someone offered to carry my bag, I let them and he turned around and made a comment about me being a princess, which I thought was snide. While we were chilling at the other apartment, we smoked joints, and our gay cab driver remarked that EH was gay as well- I looked over in shock at him as this was said, as I had no idea before this that he hooked up with men as well.
We left in the early hours of the morning, and we were both high. We hooked up before sleeping. I told him I had my period, and he said it was okay. EH said: “I don’t mind getting blood on me- and anyone who minds is a loser.” And so we had period sex. He was the first man I had sex with on my period that wasn’t a boyfriend.
We discussed our sexual preferences, and I felt myself opening up to him more physically and emotionally- I acted affectionately with him in bed, hugging, kissing, spooning, like I haven’t with anyone for a long time. I liked it, but at the same time, I was scared of becoming attached to him. We discussed the fact that he was attracted to both men and women, and he told me that his last relationship was with a male, and that he had broken up with him because he had wanted to sleep with other people. Lately, EH said he had been hooking up with more women than men.
In the morning, we had sex again and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I actually came in missionary position. Two hours later, I had to get up to go meet a friend downtown, but I wished so bad that I could stay in bed with him all day. I knew I would be seeing him later on that night though.
Later that night, I saw him briefly as the barbecue was ending, but he said he had dinner plans elsewhere. I hung out with my friend for a few hours, until I got tired and decided to head back to EH’s place. I bought strawberries for him in the market and texted him that I was coming back already, but he said that he wasn’t home yet, but to make myself at home.
When I got in, I left the strawberries on his table, took a shower and changed into one of his t-shirts. While I was waiting, I felt a sort of nervous anticipation, like I couldn’t wait to see him. That was the moment I knew I had fallen for him (idiot me). There was a notebook on the table, and me, being a natural snoop, read it from cover to cover. I saw names of people he had loved, people he had hooked up with, and I wondered if my name would ever be written in that book. I also saw that he had written the word ‘polyamorous’ in the notebook, and realised that was what he was.
I tried to sit up and wait for him, but eventually I got too tired and tried to sleep. When the door opened, I heard him say “goodnight” to someone and walk inside. I was sleeping on his side of the bed, and I pretended to sleep when he came in. I heard him standing behind me, and eventually he got in on the other side. I moved over closer to him, and told him that I wanted to wait up for him but got too tired. He said he was exhausted from driving to a far away township for dinner. We kissed a little and talked before bed. I really wanted to have sex again, but this was the first time that I actually felt too tired. So we cuddled and went to bed, both of us exhausted, but I woke up intermittently during the night when he kissed me.
In the morning, his alarm went off and he began to get ready for Burmese class. He lay on the bed and kissed me goodbye and I felt genuinely sad that he had to go. He said he might be back before I needed to leave. A few hours later, he texted me asking if I was still at the house, and I said I was. EH said that he might be able to drop me off. He came back soon after, as I was getting ready, and asked if I wanted him to put my strawberries in the fridge. I said “they’re for you.” His reply was: “A present? That’s so nice, thank you.” He sounded pleased, but I was a little embarrassed, I hate showing affection for people I’m not in a relationship with (I do it anyway though).
I got ready and he said he would drop me at the main street. After he had come back from Burmese class, I felt that he was acting cool and impersonal again, which irritated me a little. He dropped me at the main road on his pushbike and as I got off, he spoke to me in what I thought was a patronizing manner, asking if I knew what to say to the cab driver. I said I did, and I said ‘bye’ and walked off without a second glance. He said bye, and “see you later” as I walked off, and I could feel his eyes on my back as I walked away. I thought about him the whole day, and felt silly for letting myself get attached to someone overseas again.
Lesson learnt: I should not cuddle someone that I’m having casual sex with. I should not do real talk with someone I’m just sleeping with.