The Return of Private School Tinder

Date and location: March 2016, Sydney

After PST’s unceremonious ghosting last year, I had forgotten about him, until in February 2016, he popped up on Facebook chat and asked what I had been doing with myself. I told him that I was currently jobless and had just completed my degree, so the majority of my time was spent writing cover letters. Out of courtesy, I asked what PST had been doing with himself, and his answer sounded like a vague suggestion to catch up: he said that he had been very busy, but would need a night or afternoon to explain it all. I didn’t take the bait, and instead said something else, and our conversation trailed off.

Two weeks later, in early March, PST hit me up on Facebook again, and said that: ‘to alleviate financial hardship, would I let him take me out to dinner that weekend?’ I had seen him tagged in pictures with his girlfriend (I assumed) a little over a month before, so after about 20 minutes of deliberating, I asked him didn’t he have a girlfriend? PST replied that they had actually broken up a month ago, and he understood if that made me uncomfortable, but that he wasn’t that sort of person. Feeling awkward, I agreed to go to dinner with him. Again, he left the dinner arrangements up to me, but said that he would come pick me up at 7:30pm on Saturday night.

The night rolled around, and at 7:20pm he called to tell me he’d taken a wrong turn and would be 10 – 15 minutes late. I welcomed the lateness, as I myself wasn’t ready yet. When he got to my place, he called me and I walked out and got in the car. He told me I looked lovely. When I told him that the restaurant was on Oxford Street, he asked if I would mind if we went back to his place to drop the car off and get an Uber into the city instead. PST also said that depending on how many drinks he’d have later, I might need to sleep at his place if I wanted him to drop me home tomorrow. Our third date ended up like a repeat of our second date, in which we walked around lost, couldn’t find the restaurant, and ended up having to walk around lost, before settling for another Japanese restaurant (which was delicious anyway). After dinner, we decided to get drinks at a bar nearby. We were on our first round of drinks at Shady Pines, when he tapped the back of my spine, in a playful, flirtatious way, and asked me a question. I don’t clearly remember the question, but I remember that it was a slightly personal question, something about my dating preferences or what I liked in the opposite sex. I noticed PST’s voice had changed since our last encounter, and he said it was because he had jaw surgery. I liked his changed voice. He also seemed grown up and so much more mature than 6 months ago.

After two rounds of drinks and #realtalk, we decided to call it a night, and PST and I hopped in a cab back to his place. When we got back, he made tea, and as he was making the tea, asked me if I usually went back to Tinder boy’s houses (sounding a bit like slut shaming). I replied, only if I felt like they weren’t serial killers, and PST replied it was good that I didn’t think he was a serial killer. After the tea was done, he came and sat next to me on the sofa, at a reasonable distance, and asked if I liked him and found him attractive. I didn’t want to say that I did, and so I replied something vague like it was too soon to tell. During the night he had been making vague references to my past Tinder dates, like The VC Tinder, which he claimed I had told him about, and to my multiple Tinder dates in one day/night, which he claimed was a guess. When, at one point he made a comparison to BDSM, I became really suspicious, and asked if he read “blogs” (note that I said, blogs, not “my blog”). He became defensive when I asked this, and said “I have my own business, and I play games and watch anime in my spare time, what makes you think I would read your blog?” After that, I changed the topic and as it was getting late, one of suggested to go to bed.

As we went into his room and were about to go to bed, he gave me his clothes to wear. When I came out of the bathroom, he told me that I looked nice in his clothes. He took all his clothes off, except his underwear, to go to sleep, which was extremely distracting as he had a perfect body.

Just to make sure nothing sexual would happen, I positioned myself as far away from him on the bed as I could to go to sleep, although I was kind of wishing for a cuddle. We went to bed not touching, and stayed that way the entire night, although during the night I may have stretched my arm out to his side of the bed and woken up to see him stroking my wrist (I’m still not sure if this was a dream or not). The next morning we both woke up as I was tossing and turning in the bed, and he told me I looked cute when I was sleeping, and then after that, in a slightly exasperated tone “You still haven’t told me whether you like me or not.” I found this completely endearing, so much that I couldn’t help myself rolling over to his side and resting my head on his chest. He then put his arm around me, and we lay there like that for a long time, me, mapping out his upper body. We fall back to sleep shortly after, then 2 hours later, we got up and had brunch nearby. During brunch, he asked if I would delete all my dating apps if I started dating someone, I said yes. After we ate, PST drove me home, and we chatted all the way and made plans to meet up again in two weeks. When we got to my house, I kissed him passionately (at this point I honestly regretted not hooking up with him the night before). He messaged me a few days after, and said what a nice time he’d had, and scheduled a date for the following week.

The next time I saw him, he picked me up from my place to go indoor rock climbing. We climbed for about an hour, taking turns, PST guiding me on the best way to climb and coincidentally showing off his toned arm muscles all the while. It was extremely distracting. After about an hour of climbing, he asked if I wanted to have coffee nearby or watch a movie at his place. As it was a rainy afternoon, the movie sounded extremely appealing, so I agreed and we headed back. When we got back to his place, he put a Studio Ghibli film on, and we got into bed, and he motioned for me to rest my head on his chest, which I did gladly. We hadn’t been watching the movie for long, when he tilted my chin up towards his, and kissed me. We made out for a bit, and before I knew it, he was naked and my clothes were also rapidly coming off. He was pulling my jeans off, when I said “I don’t want to.” There was a pause then, and I thought he would say something in annoyance, but instead he smiled, and said “That’s okay.” He got back onto the bed and held me, and stroked my hair, and said “that’s okay.”While he was stroking my hair, he asked “do you like me?” I found myself nodding involuntarily, and that’s when I knew I was in trouble. He continued stroking my hair, and said softly, “I like you too.” We lay there, just holding each other for a few minutes before I said I needed to go, and PST said he would drop me off.

As he was dropping me off, PST asked if I was free to do something on Tuesday, and I said yes. I stroked his knee after this, and he said then, as an afterthought, “and don’t worry about me. We can go as slow, or as fast as you want.” I liked that he had said this, and felt like he was someone I could really trust. When he dropped me off, we kissed goodbye, and I went to have dinner with my family feeling as light as a cloud.

Two days after, we had dinner in Newtown and watched a movie at Dendy that was supposed to be a horror movie, but wasn’t so frightening. During the movie, we cuddled and afterwards, he asked me if I wanted to come over his place or go home. After a pause, I said I’d go home, and as we were stopped at a traffic light on the way home, he kissed me with vigour. While we were on the way home, PST said to me “I suddenly feel like seeing you more,” and with that, we made plans to meet up on the weekend. When we got back to my place, we kissed passionately again, and I fell asleep thinking about him.

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