After our movie date, Private School Boy and I had scheduled a date for the Sunday of the Easter long weekend, but on Thursday he texted me and said he was free to hang out Friday if I was. I said I had plans but would still see him Sunday. When Easter Sunday rolled around, I was having lunch with a friend in the city and when I finished, PSB came to pick me up in the city, and we went back to his place to have a movie marathon.
When we got back to his place, we were lying on the bed and cuddling and were only 20-30 minutes through some sci-fi film when he leaned towards me and started kissing me, which led to a makeout session. It wasn’t long before his hand was down my pants and pulling them off, which totally contradicted what he’d said a few days earlier about taking it slow if I wanted to. The first time, I rebuffed him and we went back to watching the movie, until maybe an hour later, he tried again and this time we kissed passionately for a long time, before he successfully took off my pants, took off his and started trying to slip it in. Long story short, we ended up having sex. During this time, he said, “I think I like you more than I should.” I replied, “I like you too.”
We were chatting and kissing later on, and PSB said: “I feel like it’s too soon to ask you to be my girlfriend, but will you be exclusive with me?” I said yes. While we were having sex the first time, I put his hand around my throat, and after we finished, he said: “I didn’t know you were into that. So hot,” with an interested expression on his face. We had sex several times that day, and PSB showed his nervousness, maybe the third time, when he went soft, and said: “I’m sorry, I’m nervous,” and pulled out, trembling. I found his nervousness completely endearing, and in the bluish light of his room, we just held each other and talked. We had just finished having sex at one point, and PSB came out of the bathroom to see me lying on the bed naked. He said: “you’re gorgeous,” as he inspected every inch of my body. We had pizza and watched movies that night, and fell asleep intertwined. The next day, we went grocery shopping and cooked a late breakfast together, and at night, he drove me home. We made plans to see each other a few days later.
Two days later, after my first day of work at my new job, PSB and I had planned to have a night in, and he was supposed to cook me dinner. I had requested that he cook potato latkes, and he had previously said that he would check with his mother how to make them, but that day I had gotten a weird text from him saying his mum would be out of touch for a few weeks, and that he would try to get it right on his own. I called him after work, and PSB said he had cut himself while trying to open a cooking utensil with a jack knife, and might possibly need to go hospital, if it was still bleeding by the time I got there. I thought he was exaggerating, but when I got to his place, his finger was still bleeding, so I accompanied him to the hospital although he said he could drop me off to go home. When we got to the hospital, I’m sickened to say we acted like one of those shameless couples who do PDA’s in public. We were waiting in the emergency ward, when he got a message on his phone, and I glanced over. I was sure that it was the Tinder symbol, and PSB excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came back, he was chatting like normal, but I was barely speaking or giving him one word answers because I was suspicious about what was going on. He noticed immediately that my demeanor had changed, and began asking what was wrong (he probably also felt guilty). I asked him who messaged him just then, and PSB replied, “a girl called Lyn, from high school.” I replied, “oh,” and paused before saying, “I thought I saw the Tinder symbol on your phone.” And then he said: “It was. I never deleted Tinder.” You can imagine the annoyance and fury I felt when he said this, considering that he had asked me to see him exclusively just a few days before. I had deleted all my apps straight away.
At this point, I turned my body away from him, and stopped talking, while he fussed over me and tried to get me to talk to him. After a little while, I asked him if he was seeing anybody else, and PSB replied: “No, I asked you to be exclusive because I don’t believe you can develop feelings for one person if you’re seeing several people.” I then replied, through clenched teeth: “I don’t mind if you’re seeing other people, but don’t ask me to see you exclusively if you are.” PSB replied, “I’m not seeing anyone else. I just kept Tinder because it would take too long to make another profile if you suddenly stopped decided to stop talking to me.” I replied that it didn’t take that long to make a Tinder profile, when he said that it did. We spent a long time not talking then, until we got admitted to the emergency room, and PSB apologised again for messing up our night, and said that I was free to leave if I wanted, and he could give me his keys to go to bed early and rest for work the next day. I said that was okay, and watched his features soften, and he said: “I’m glad you’re here, thanks for staying with me.” While he was on the hospital bed, looking helpless and feeble, he said: “Tell me something you haven’t told anyone.” I said something nonsensical to deflect, and then asked him what he had done that day. PSB replied: “It’s a bit personal,” and then paused. I have to admit I felt like he was trying to take the attention off the fact that he was still on Tinder, but listened. PSB continued, saying that he didn’t have a good day, because his mother had attempted suicide. This was a lot to swallow given that we hadn’t been seeing each other very long. He said he hadn’t told anybody else about it, and didn’t know who to talk to about it. Shortly after, he got his finger x-rayed and then stitched up, and we left the hospital and went home. When we got home, I pretended to be normal despite feeling a little troubled, and we went to bed.
The next morning, he woke up early and cooked me pancakes for breakfast, and dropped me at the station. That weekend, I had plans to go to the Gold Coast with friends, leaving Friday night and coming back on Sunday night, so PSB graciously offered to pick me up from the airport. On Friday, he texted me saying he was going to miss me a lot that weekend. But then the weekend came, I went to the Gold Coast, and I didn’t hear from him. I thought about him all weekend, and regretted my travel plans, because I missed him so much. Later that night, when I got in to Sydney, PSB was waiting at the airport for me, and I saw him before he saw me. He was on his phone, texting, and when he looked up, he smiled, and maybe it was my imagination, but I thought he looked slightly guilty. I wondered if he was messaging someone on Tinder right then, and I can only imagine I threw him the stink eye. I was a bit icy to him afterwards, and we didn’t have the most comfortable of nights. When we got back to his place, I took a shower, and after I came out, he said, “talk to me”. I replied, “about what?” in an irritated tone. He murmured something equally irritated in reply, and I realised I was being unkind and changed immediately. We cuddled for a bit, and he asked if I missed him that weekend. I said “yes,” leaving out the fact that I had thought only about him that weekend. He said he missed me a lot, and he “wrote so many texts that he didn’t send”. I asked him why he wouldn’t send them, and he said he didn’t want to be clingy because I was on a trip. I found this behaviour wildly adorable.
The next morning, he woke up and cooked me pancakes for breakfast and dropped me at the station, and asked to see me on Friday night. That Friday, I caught a ferry to where his parents lived, and we went grocery shopping. While on the way to the grocery store, I told him about my desire to lose weight, and PSB seemed interested. I can only describe his reaction to my statement that I wanted to lose weight, as ‘restrained enthusiasm’. PSB said “what made you suddenly want to lose weight?” And then, as an afterthought, he said, “well I guess it doesn’t help that you’ve been hanging out with me, as I have 0% body fat”. I kid you not, he said that. Anyway, we discussed it a little further, and as we were grocery shopping that night, I had a strong craving for some kinds of cheese. The grocery store we were in at the time also had a great deli selection of gourmet cheeses that aren’t available at my local place.
Anyway, I tried to grab cheese THREE TIMES, but PSB pulled me away every time. On the way back to his parent’s place, he told me that cheese would have been a terrible choice if I want to lose weight. When we got back to his place, he gave me a tour of the house and showed me all the rooms, as well as explaining all the family photos. No kidding, his parents’ house looked like it came out of an Ikea catalogue. His kitchen cabinets were also full of cookbooks (that they actually use), and one of the drawers was entirely dedicated to spices, and was alphabetically organised. After that, he cooked me dinner, and while he was cooking, he told me that he deleted Tinder. I was pleased at this of course, but not when I heard the reason.
PSB said: “I felt like we would get into a fight, if I didn’t delete it.” I replied, “you know I wouldn’t have said anything.”PSB said that I would have been passive aggressive about it, to which I said nothing (knowing it was true), but still felt uneasy that it hadn’t been a genuine reason for deleting Tinder. We had a relaxing night in, with dinner and a movie and sex on the living room sofa, before going to bed. The next morning, PSB had to do some work, but dropped me off in the city and asked if I wanted to come back over that night after my outing with my friends, which I agreed to. That day, I saw my girlfriends for lunch and dinner, then during dinner, I was about to leave to go back to PSB’s place shortly, when I got a text from him saying sorry, but he had a ton of work, and did he mind if we cancelled tonight. I acted chill and nonchalant, but really inside I was fuming. Later that night when I got home, he messaged me on Facebook saying he missed me and asking if I had a webcam. I replied coolly, saying that I did, but my Mac could crash anytime. He didn’t reply.
The next night, he called me at 10pm, and basically talked non-stop about his ex, but also said to me that he would be fine with me talking to guys from Tinder that are now friends (God knows I have so many of those) but that it would be a problem if I was talking to any of my exes. We chatted for a bit, and then said goodbye on a good note, but the conversation had left me wondering if he was actually over his ex.