The British Guy

Date and location of meeting: April, Sydney 2016

Despite the name of the blog stating otherwise, I am not only on Tinder. I happen to alternate between using 3-4 dating apps when I feel like it, and The British Guy happened to be a rare find that I matched with Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and Tinder. We matched on Hinge in late 2015 or early 2016, and Coffee Meets Bagel shortly after. While matching on Coffee Meets Bagel, we exchanged a few messages and planned to meet up once we both got back to Sydney.

Alas these things often go by the wayside, and when I got back to Sydney we had both forgotten about meeting up. As usual, I got caught up in the dating scene in Sydney, which kept me busy, in addition to the Private School Boy dramas. Around this time was the first time Private School Boy and I stopped seeing each other. I didn’t waste any time in jumping back on the Tinder horse and scheduling a date. We met up on a Sunday afternoon on the Easter long weekend, and I almost cancelled the date because I had a bender the evening before and was exhausted.

I had messaged British Guy the morning of our meeting (we had initially planned to meet at 1pm) saying I had had a bender, and could we possibly reschedule. He replied that we could postpone to a later time, and advised me to get some rest because “it is imperative that we bring our best versions of ourselves”. So I went back to bed for a bit (but failed to get any sleep), and then when I got up and started getting ready to meet British Guy, I all of a sudden got texts and calls from Private School Boy asking me to ‘come over and hold him because he was a mess.’ About four days earlier he had broken it off with me, and although I had been upset, I promptly got back on the Tinder horse. I messaged him saying I already started seeing other people again, and he messaged back saying he understood. However, as soon as I got his reply and was faced with the possibility of never seeing Private School Boy again, I knew that was the only thing I wanted. I was ready to cancel my date and head straight over to his place, so I messaged him again and said I could still come over if he wanted, but didn’t get a reply. So with that, I continued getting ready (dejectedly) for my date with British Guy, and then headed out to the city to meet him.

We had planned a day drinking session at Opera bar, and as I was arriving there, British Guy texted me saying he hoped I was wearing a distinctive red hat. I was standing near the bar, when a tall man with blondish brown hair approached me. He was tall, and had James Dean slicked back hair, and an attractive, masculine face with a strong jaw. I don’t remember what he greeted me with, but I found him very attractive and hilarious to boot.

We grabbed a drink at the bar before looking for seats outside. It was crowded outside, and there were literally no spare tables. As we searched for a table, British Guy joked to me that we should just sit down at a table with randoms and see what would ensue. The smirk on his face suggested he would be totally game for it if I was. Game for it though, I was not. So we ended up sitting on the stone bench facing one another, and chatting.

British Guy broke the ice with a question about roommate horror stories, and I said I didn’t have any roommate horror stories because I still lived with family, but my grandma blasting buddhist mantras at 5am every morning was technically one. British Guy told me worse stories about his ex-roommates, and had me laughing nonstop. He was in his late 20s, worked in tech, and traveled a few times a year. He was from somewhere in the south in the UK, and had been living in Sydney for a few years. Leading on from our roommate discussion, I told him I might have roommate horror stories of my own, as I was contemplating moving to New York in 2017. I confessed my indecision about moving, and that I had based my decision around two things- if I got a decent job here, and if I was dating anyone seriously. British Guy set a date for me to decide, which was 1st August, and said if I wasn’t dating anyone by then, to decide on moving, and stick to it. He even got out his phone and made a date in his calendar, to call me on August 1st to make sure I had made my decision and that I would stick to it.

We had one or two more drinks at Opera Bar, which British Guy picked up the bill for. For our next bar, we decided to hit up Palmer & Co in CBD, which I had never been to before. When we got into Palmer & Co, British Guy suggested a game involving the two of us selecting drinks for one another. If we selected drinks that the other didn’t like, we would take it as a sign that we weren’t a match and leave immediately.

We had a very sexy South American cocktail waitress who British Guy chatted to enthusiastically, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he was interested in her. He let her in on our game, and then after she had taken our drink orders, he dared me to ask her a questions (it might have been her name, or where she was from). I didn’t end up asking it, and so he did. They engaged in a short conversation, which seriously made me wonder if he was just very extroverted, or whether he was hitting on her. Shortly after, she brought our drinks out, and neither of us particularly liked our drinks, but we continued drinking them anyway, and sitting there. Neither of us made a move to leave, and British Guy commented on my not having left, despite it. With that, he said he assumed I was enjoying his company, and suggested moving onto dinner. However, he said he hadn’t anticipated the chill and said he would have to swing by his place and get his jacket if we were going to continue going out further. He said his place was within 20 minutes walk. I didn’t say no to this but had heard similar lines before and wondered if he was trying to hook up.

As we were settling up the bill, British Guy asked me to split. He said it was “the norm” that people split bills on dates, and commented that I was just selfish, with a smirk on his face, so I assumed he was joking. After paying the bill, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and at that moment, Private School Boy called me, 6 hours after I had texted him back saying I could come over, and said he was coming to pick me up right then. I told him where I was, and said goodbye and walked out of Palmer & Co with British Guy. We were standing outside on the street, when he was saying we should start heading in the direction of his place, and I said, sorry I was actually going to go home.

Just at that minute, Private School Boy pulled up, and British Guy, said “oh, this is you?” in a tone, and with an expression I can only describe as crestfallen. I said, “I’ll message you,” feeling guilty (for once in my life), and British Guy said, “no you won’t.”

And so we said goodbye, and I hopped into Private School Boy’s car.

Two months later, Private School Boy and I were out at dinner, and saw British Guy also lining up for the same restaurant we were waiting for. He was also on a date. We made eye contact, and he grimaced at me.

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